Match Report vs Tour 2 - Offenham 6th September 2026 @ Offenham, Worcs (Skipper Pat/Ned, report Cheese)

The Cazh started the day with 12 ‘fit’ players following a few comings and goings. Robbie had headed home to look after his little one, while Joan and Ned joined the squad at the ground. Pat was captain for the day and, with spoof selecting the opening pair for both innings; Ed and Sanny opened the batting, while Shano and Stevo took the new ball.
With the skipper running a little late, Ned stepped up as vice-captain and handled the toss, which resulted in the Cazh batting first on an artificial wicket with a very short boundary on one side.

The openers strode out with a calm confidence, knowing the artificial surface was unlikely to offer much assistance to the bowlers. The opposition also appeared ready for Sunday cricket
That calmness lasted about four balls.
After missing out with the bat the previous day, Ed was dismissed for a four-ball duck, much to the amusement of those watching. The giggling and muttering from the sidelines did little to improve his mood. Sanay then managed to survive 19 deliveries before also departing for a duck.
At 33-4 after 13 overs, the rescue mission was firmly on.
Greg "Don't Talk To My Mother-in-Law" Cavanagh was initially joined by Ned, who did not last long, and then Stevo, who lasted even less time. With the innings drifting nowhere, the middle order needed someone to take charge.
Fortunately, Greg and Jim came together and produced a magnificent partnership of 101 runs. Both batsmen dispatched the ball to all corners of the ground, with Jim producing a particularly enormous six. The shot sparked plenty of conversation after an opposition player had to vault the fence in retrieval, leading Dan to provide a steady stream of commentary whenever the opposition walked past.
Once the partnership was finally broken, the innings became a bit of a procession, with batters arriving, swinging freely, scoring some useful runs and departing shortly afterwards.
Considering the position they had been in earlier, the Cazh finished n 177 well short of par but at least something to bowl at. Greg was in the runs again with 45, while Jim agonisingly fell one short of a half-century with 49.

After doing very little cricket-related activity for the previous two days, Ed somehow managed to convince Pat to let him keep wicket. Much to Jim's annoyance, he kept the gloves for the full 20 overs. Much to Stevo's annoyance, he also didn't stop talking for the full 20 overs.
Defending 177 looked a challenging task, but stranger things have happened.

Stevo struck first, the wicket came to the amazement of everybody present, perhaps most of all Stevo himself. The catch that followed was safely taken by Goffy, to sound of his new tour nickname "Needles".
At the other end, Joan bowled his customary tidy line and length. Although lacking some of his usual turn, he kept things under control, helping restrict the opposition to just 18-1 from six overs.
The seventh over brought a change in fortunes. The opposition found success against Stevo, particularly after a tactical adjustment to his line resulted in several deliveries drifting leg side and disappearing to the boundary.
Nevertheless, after 12 overs the opening partnership had only taken the score to 56, leaving the chase finely balanced.
With Dan "The Flipper" Lewis unavailable to bowl, Pat looked elsewhere for inspiration. He introduced Needles into the attack and, in a moment of optimism, brought himself on from the opposite end.
To his credit, Needles delivered on his promise to bowl a fuller length. He tied down the scoring and eventually removed the stubborn opener, with Ned taking a very good catch at wide mid-on.
Unfortunately, Pat, and later DT, suffered from the unforgiving nature of the artificial pitch. Anything dropped short was promptly launched over mid-on, resulting in several sizeable sixes.
Needles continued to impress and, in his final over, managed to burgle three wickets. One was bowled, while Dan and Richie both held catches to complete an excellent spell.
After Pat and DT had suffered most of the punishment, Cheese, Ned and Greg came on to see if they could close things out. Despite their efforts, the opposition eventually reached the target in the 28th over.
The game finished in good spirits, with the opposition inviting everyone for a drink at a local pub beside the river. With the sun setting and the tour winding down, it provided a fitting end to the weekend.
Another tour was complete, with the Cazh finishing with one victory and one defeat, plenty of stories, and undoubtedly enough material to be discussed for many years to come.

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