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Match Report vs St Fagans 25 May 2009 @ St Fagans (Skipper Jam and Report Smitts)

“Success is sweet and sweeter if long delayed and gotten through many struggles and defeats.”

Amos Bronson Alcott

The Casuals, many of whom were sporting a new bronzed look from the previous days frivolities, arrived at The St Fagan’s arena with their eyes on the sky. Unlike yesterday, the weather looked threatening and so sniper squads were positioned around the entrance to the ground with “shoot on sight” orders in case Pikey came to watch. The St Fagan’s team consisted of some old, some young and some younger. The usual mix.

“Insert name here” won the toss and The Casuals were batting. P Stephens and A Hood opened up for the casuals. J. Swell opened for St Fagan’s and struggled early on to find his line, but was bowling a decent pace and moving the ball through the air. By the end of the first over Swell had found his line and picked up the first wicket. A full, in-swinging delivery that found its way through Hood’s defence. Hood Bowled 0. J Furnham The Casuals skipper joined Stephens out in the middle and looked to see off Swell. Alas, it was not to be and Furnham fell the same way as Hood. The bails dislodged by another full in-swinging bobby-dazzler. Furnham Bowled 0. K. Swain strode nonchalantly out to the middle and the runs started to come. The young lad Davies was bowling from the other end and bowling well. Stephens and Swain kept the score ticking over nicely for the next 20 overs. Playing the good deliveries with respect and punishing anything off-line.

At the half way stage, the ship had been steadied and The Casuals had a good platform from which to build. The Casuals 79/2 off 20.
Then disaster, Swain bowled by Allen for a very respectable and controlled 37. This brought Holiday to the crease but he didn’t last long and was caught off Blackler having scored 1. M Stephens joined his brother in the middle and again the runs started to flow. At times a few choice words were exchanged between the two batsmen but they batted well together. P Stephens entered the fidgety 40’s with a big 6 and looked like going on to get his fifty but unfortunately it was not to be and he fell soon after to Allen the young spinner. P Stephens Bowled 42. Then followed the all too familiar Casuals collapse. Goad, Warwick, Dewberry and Smith all came and went adding a disappointing 4 runs to the total between them. I Warwick joins that ever growing group of Casuals who enjoined a duck on debut. M Foote restored some pride for the tail end picking up a quick fire 10 before being stumped off Jenkins.

The Cardiff Casuals innings came to an end. 144 All Out off 39.4 Overs. There were murmurs from the team that this wasn’t enough and looking back, as so often is the case with The Casuals, after a decent start and a firm base established, our batting let us down.

P Stephens 42
A Hood 0
J Furnham 0
K Swain 37
R Holiday 1
M Stephens 19
W Goad 1
I Warwick 0
D Dewberry 1
M Smith 2
M Foote 10

Tea was very enjoyable and contained several incidents’ of note. I’m still none the wiser as to where Shakey got that welsh cake from. His explanation of, “If you pray hard enough and your heart is pure, your wishes will come true,” does not cut the mustard with me. I recon there was some sneaky welsh cake hiding going on. Now, what is the correct way to eat a snowball? Does it count as one of your five a day? Would you bake it in a pie? Does this make it a fruit because you would bake it in a pie? Does this make it not a fruit because you would bake it in a pie? What is the best pie filling? Would a pie pie (A pie pie is a pie with other pies as the filling) contain too much pastry? Is pastry the best part of a pie? What is the correct way to eat a Peter’s pie? Do you take the top off and drink it or do you munch it all straight down?

We also invented the best snack ever to be conceived by man. You start with a meatster egg. (A meatster egg is an easter egg but instead of made from chocolate, it’s made from meat.) You fill said meatster egg with snow balls, welsh cakes and a couple of pie pies. Then baste the meatster egg with turkey dripping and wrap it in fried bread. Then cover the fried bread with batter and deep fry. To finish off cover the whole thing with chocolate and you have created the perfect pre-dinner snack. Now is this snack we have created a fruit or a vegetable? Does it have seeds? Ask yourself, would you put it in a pie?

Anyway back to the cricket.

Holliday and Litchfield opened the batting for St Fagan’s. Holliday had only arrived with 3 overs of The Casuals innings to spare and spent most of that time in the club house on his phone [Ed: it turned out he was a doctor on call...]. The subject of much discussion I’m sure. Andy Hood and M Foote opened the bowling for The Casuals and both bowled well with the batsmen looking to play themselves in. During his opening spell Hood had an LBW decision turned down against Holliday that was absolutely plum. Holliday was more fruit than man and for a while I found myself considering whether or not I’d put him in a pie. Maybe he was a vegetable? After 10 overs the score was 19/0 and it was time for a change of bowling. Warwick and Goad took over the bowling duties and continued in the same vain with the batsmen playing them both with respect. Then all of a sudden Holliday realised that he was amazing and decided to twat everything to the boundary bad ball or not.

This went on for several overs with Goad and Warwick taking heavy punishment to the point of farce. Holliday sensing the change of mood in the field and no doubt hearing the choice words sent his way, offered to retire. I told him this would only piss us off more and eventually his captain came over and told him to wander down the wicket and miss the next delivery. Which he did, and was bowled by Goad for 68 [Ed: who as it turns out didn't realise the chat between the skipper and batsmen had taken place...]. This brought the young Howe to the crease and Hood and M Stephens had a bowl at him. The young lad strolled nonchalantly down the track and effortlessly lofted Hood back over his head for 4. Hood countered by getting quicker and quicker and shorter and shorter. The young lad kept coming and despite the odd ball around his throat remained unbothered. A blistering spell from M Stephens eventually saw Howe back in the clubhouse, Bowled for 23. M Stephens also picked up the wickets of Litchfield and the very young lad Jenkins both stumped. Alas it was all too late and the damage had already been done. Kim came on to bowl but was unable to prevent the batsmen from getting the winning runs.

St Fagan’s 145/4 off 32.3overs.

A Hood 8-1-24-0
M Foote 8-3-16-0
I Warwick 5-0-47-0
W Goad 4-0-28-1
M Stephens 6-2-14-3
K Swain 1.3-0-5-0

An enjoyable day? Discuss.



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