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Match report vs Chartered Trust 30 June 08@ Wenvoe (Skipper John Furnham, report A Furnham)

Wenvoe was again a picture as we rolled up to face the mighty and champions elect Chartered Trust. The skip JF lost the toss and they decided to bat which he seemed not sure about but maybe because all were not there. Anyway the skip went behind the stumps with the plan originally to put Paul there after he bowled but in the end JF stayed for 20.

Andy started at the Pavilion end and Paul at the far end and very well they did against two strong batters. Andy fresh from his awesome spell was a bit stiff from the previous day and felt it on his first couple of balls. After that it was business as usual, occasionally they would hit a boundary with the left handed skipper hitting the ball very hard. Even so these were not really off bad balls so we kept them contained without taking a wicket until Paul’s last over when he bowled the right hander. The batter who later kept was a very nice chap as Steve would say and later said Paul was the best opening bowler he had faced. Paul said “bollocks, only coz I got him out” in the Wenvoe (Ed - BA doesn't take compliments well... I supose off the back of yesterday's first over which was carted for 3 6's and 2 4's is a bit of a contrast) . Anyway the score was about 35 for 1 in the 8th over. It was also clear by now that the pitch was more traditional Wenvoe with many keeping low.

We also had our usual visit from baldy dog walker with his two poo machines include the little f*cker that always makes it onto the pitch. Paul got hit for a six back over his head and with the ball aiming for the two dogs there was the chance of one of them being hit. Paul did mention that he hoped it hit one of the f*ckers but alas it was just a bog standard six.

The slow stuff took over with Doc replacing Andy (“C’mon Andy lets have a W” shouted the skipper so I looked over at Richie and said “I will be having one later”) and DT for Paul.

Again we kept it tight, even though they were trying to get after it a bit. The next wicket was a run out, the ball was blocked in front of the batter and a bit of silence followed as the two batters (brothers?) then decided to run, I said “go on bro” and he came out like a flash from behind the stumps to roll the ball back to DT who whipped off the bails for an excellent bit of cricket from us. Around 50 for 2 in the 10th.

This brought Richie Jones in who used to be about the only one we needed to get out, he played a couple of nice shots but then got stumped by JF off Dave, he probably could have got back had he tried due to the ball being somewhere in the depths of JFs belly but he more or less plonked the bat under his arm and walked off.

The book during their innings is a bit of a mess to be honest so cant give too much detail about the rest of it. I do know the lefty tried hitting Dave through the leg side and despite the odd connection was stumped very neatly by JF for 40. Looking at their book (long story) this guy scores plenty so great wicket Dave. The doc bowled well again despite going for a few in his last over which was not down to bad bowling.

Enter the wily old Fox (I used to look up rude words in the dictionary when I was in school and got caught showing wily to someone as I thought it was willy, I also used to look at the caveman books coz they had photos of tits) who managed to hear I think maybe one of the instructions sent out to him. The best was “warm up Fox” (only repeated once) to which he about rolled his shoulders and Rich said “was that your warm up Fox?” I heard him even if Fox didn’t and it made me laugh (ed - turns out Foxy asked JF from 'which end' JF ignored/didn't hear him, so Foxy shrugged - that was the warm up...).

Fox (despite the brief warm up) then proceeded to take wickets with ball 2 and 3 of his first over, both bowled, the hat trick was averted but again as many times this year he has come up with the goods. Rog came on at the other end and got a wicket with just about the sh*ttiest ball he has ever bowled, a half tracker ( ed - and that's being kind) that skidded rather than bounced but it was straight. In his second over and the 20th he took two more wickets, LBW and bowled so good stuff from Fox and Rog to finish. We had restricted them to 112 which considering some of their scores this year was a top effort. We bowled well and fielded well with Rog having a rare off day in the field. JF was very good behind the stumps and coming out with some fresh clichés this year that I think he has picked up from his umpire travels.

Andy H 4-0-17-0 1 wide
Pabs 4-0-19-1 3 wides
Doc 4-0-25-0 1 wide
Dt 4-0-21-2 1 wide
Fox 2-0-16-2
Rog 2-0-9-3

Fortunately Dan was on hand to score our innings in our new book while I started doing our old book, yes we were doing both our books as theirs (identical to our old one) was full!!! All the talk was of Shakey yesterday and Stevo and his first aid technique.

JF and the in form Vyas opened up and we needed one at least to come off. Sadly this was not the case as JF was caught behind one handed (bit of a juggle) for just a single with the score on 12. Can't do it all the time. There were quite a few wides but mostly they got it right and Paul said this was a good ball. This brought in Doc at 3 and sadly he failed to trouble the scorer with the score on 19 bowled behind his legs. For the second time this evening someone was bowled and the non striker called a run not realising. Dan was telling us how he was bowled himself yesterday and didn’t realise.

This brought Akbari and his kookaburra fresh from his 20 yesterday, Rich said his bat must have a middle then and I replied it ought to for the price he paid (even though he got a deal). Sadly after playing straight to the first two he swiped across the line again and 19 for 3 in the 5th, the bowler being their skipper who hit the runs. Uphill but still in reach.

Manish was dropped surprisingly by same bloke for a life and we hoped that would be crucial but with the score on 26 he was bowled the ball after giving Ash the stare for not calling a wide. 26 for 4 in the 8th. Rich without his comb came out to bat and hit one lovely shot through the covers for four and was now joined by Andy. These two put on 14 before Rich was bowled by skipper for 9, 40 for 5 in the 11th.

Dan gave Paul a pep talk as Paul was telling us he couldn’t bat, its all in your head he told him while Paul suggested it was his technique. I can think of plenty of us who wouldn’t mind Paul’s technique. Anyway he was dropped of his second ball but then he and Andy put together a cracking little partnership of 37 where they tried to up the ante. It was good to watch especially as we were wondering how knackered Paul was after running a couple of threes. Paul also hit one into Penelope’s and the partnership only game to an end when Paul hit one back to the bowler (rather nippy) and Andy who had been backing up got caught in the way and was run out for 21. 77 for 6 in the 17th.

Paul was bowled coming down the wicket to one that kept low 4 runs later for a well made 18 and this brought in Furny to join Rog who was already out there. We needed 32 off about 15, I reckoned on needing 15 off the last over. We put on 8 when fast Asian guy came over the wicket (he nearly killed me first ball I faced off him) and bowled Rog for 3 in a shit or bust situation. 89 for 8 with 8 balls left and 24 needed. Fox did really well with his running with the upshot being we needed 21 off the last over. I reckon if I had been in a bit longer I may have got hold of more than one, I got dropped of a sky job and of course dopey bollocks hit a six of the final ball when I needed to do it a few balls earlier instead of the windmill that was in evidence. In the end we were only 6 short of a tie and again you think what if etc etc. I also need to get a bat. F*ck if only I had hit one earlier to put pressure on the bowler. Just one more hit, fuck fuck fuck. Overall though I thought we performed really well especially in the field. We were always behind so to speak the 20 wides to our 8 helped and to get that close after losing JF and MV cheaply was a top effort against some decent bowling who although bowled lots of wides were good and you can see why they win games.

Also you have to say what a cracking bunch of blokes to play cricket against, I would be quite happy to do a Foxy (and now Dan after Sunday) and have a chat with them.

M Vyas 10
JF 1
M Davies 0
Ash 0
Rich 9 1 four
AH 21 1 four
Pabs 18 1 six
Rog 3
AF 12 not out 1 six (too fucking late though)
Fox 1 not out
DT dnb

106 for 8 in 20, lost by six and there were no birds with big tits on show tonight except DT. Rich called DT a useless c*nt for not being able to take over scoring from me and use the coloured pens. Rich did not bring his comb but as long as he brings himself (off) and nobody got injured as Shakey wasn’t playing.


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