Match report vs Consmen
23 June 08@ Wenvoe (Skipper Andy Hood, report A Furnham)
Wenvoe was very nice this eve and no effects from the heavy
rain over the weekend. Pikey forgot the book but luckily I
had brought the new one I had bought the other day. Reading
Dan’s post it seemed the type of game in store depended
on what personnel they would have.
Anyway skipper Winky lost the toss and they decided to bat
which was a very strange decision as we will see later. Talking
of tossing, Dewbs with his huge swollen balls after Friday
managed to “bash one out” I was told to make sure
all was well. You will be pleased to know it was.
Nadders opened up from the far end and Rog the Pavilion end.
It was pretty obvious from the word go that the one opener
was very good and the other pretty good. They started off
at 7 an over and were 28 off 4. Nadders who said he was fired
up earlier got really fired up when very good opener kept
leaving his crease at the non strikers end. Nadders did technically
run him out but umpire J Furnham kept with the spirit although
it seemed the batter was convinced you can’t be out
that way anymore. The upshot was Nadders got a bit too fired
up and lost it a bit in his third over. Rog was going steady
at the other end with only the odd wide letting him down.
45 for 0 off 6 which was a bit more then we would hope.
Enter Dean Cosker doppelganger Matt Davies to take over from
Nadeem and he went wide, dot and wicket with his first 3 balls.
The batter was baffled as he came off saying “it must
have turned a mile to bowl me around my legs or did I walk
across, f*cking hell I don’t know what happened”.
46 for 1 in the 7th and in came Skippy and despite clearly
being unfit dealt mainly in singles while the opener went
along nicely. Rog finished his spell and Andy H took over
from him and most unlike Andy went for 13 in his first over
although you have to give the batter credit. Matt and then
Andy dragged it back a bit but they still managed to reach
90 for 1 at the end of the 13th and a big total was staring
us in the face.
Something’s in life are rare, Ash resisting a Chinese,
Paul smiling for the whole game, Rich combing his hair, Dave
going out to bat full of confidence and me saying my wrist
is too tired. Add to this a batsman charging down the wicket
at Andy H. Winky was not impressed and I am sure Rich will
fill you in on the exact words but something like “charging
me down the f*cking wicket, if he does that again he is going
to get it in the balls” or words to that effect. To
be fair the batter won a few rounds but Andy delivered the
knock out blow and had him bowled for 42 as he came at him.
92 for 2 in the 14th and although he looked about 12 from
a distance I was surprised to see a baldy head as he took
his helmet off. Good player though who never hit it that hard
but into gaps and the bad ball was put away. Important wicket
that was for sure.
Skippy was still there though and despite not being as classy
as his former batting partner was accumulating nicely. Andy
again though came up with the goods and bowled the number
4 for two and he never looked like he could handle Andy. 97
for 3 in the 16th. Manish had taken over from the excellent
Matt and in his second over Skippy was needlessly run out
going for a second and from there the wheels fell off slightly.
107 for 4 in the 17th with a great throw from Rog back to
Manish who managed to take the bails off.
Nadders came back to finish his spell with a change of ends
and this time had much more luck to take two wickets in his
over, both bowled, well done Nadders. This left them 111 for
6 at the end of 18. Nelson claimed 3 wickets today as Manish
bowled the number 5 at the start of the next over and only
two more added before the next wicket at the end of same over.
Umpire J Furnham put his finger up straight away for the LBW
but batter was having none of it and stood there for ages
before walking off very slowly telling his team mates “that
was a f*cking disgrace, I am not happy with that, I f*cking
hit it, did you hear it”. JFs version was he was nowhere
near it and his bat hit the ground, Manish said pad then bat
and the batter will I think tell you he hit it (ED - a unanimous
opinion from the spectators from side on...but somehow looks
different in the book..). We will never know! Anyway two wickets
for Manish and 114 for 8 at end of 19.
Dewbs was asked to fill in at the end and there was still
time for Andy H to throw down the stumps superbly from the
covers and for him to take a catch for them to finish on 124
all out from exactly 20. A good score but after 10 it looked
like being a lot more. Still we would have to bat well to
There were 22 wides, 2 no balls and 3 leg byes
Nads 4-0-30-2 2 no balls 4 wides
Rog 4-0-26-0 5 wides
Matt D 4-0-18-1 2 wides
Andy H 4-0-22-2 4 wides
Manish 3-0-15-2 1 wide
Dewbs 1-0-10-1 3 wides
The Kookaburra brothers of Ash and JR walked out to bat with
their flashy bits of willow. Muff said he would never buy
one out of principle as its Australian and you can get plenty
of good English ones. I won’t buy a Kookaburra so the
scorers won’t get me an Ash mixed up if we ever bat
together. No chance of Ash and JR getting mixed up though
and unfortunately JR did not last long as he hung out his
bat to a wide one to give catching practice and us 3 for 1
after the first ball of the second over. JR out for a single.
On Friday Manish had a runner (well Steve to be precise who
by the way has had his hair cut, I told him he looked more
handsome and Dan said that’s because he looked so f*cking
ugly before) and although not 100% still managed to play.
Gordon Greenidge on one leg was a better player they used
to say (although rumour has it he had three legs) and tonight
I add to that Vyas.
The second Kookaburra brother did not last much longer and
was bowled playing a ball outside off stump towards leg (so
I was told later), this left us 14 for 2 in the 4th and 125
a way off. Ash failed to trouble me so to speak but as Dewbs
pointed out he does like a duck, usually though it’s
crispy and his innings was about ten times better than my
car crash of an innings last week
This brought in newly elected VC Smitty to the crease and
his bat which in comparison to the Kookaburra boys looks like
shit and has more cracks than a Bangkok brothel but it does
the job. The two opening bowlers were pretty good I thought
with the change bowlers bowling a few more loose balls with
Manish looking like a man who did not want to run.
Somewhere in their innings and I am not sure where exactly
and I didn’t notice until Dan said two of them have
just gone off in a car. Skippy informed us they had gone to
football. Now this begs the question why didn’t they
field first and the two that had to go open the innings and
if you last long enough just get yourself out. You can never
tell how many runs it cost them but it certainly meant there
were plenty more gaps in the field and with Skippy unable
to bowl this gave us a huge advantage.
Manish though was powering his way to 50 and despite being
dropped about 4 times it was class, maybe not as arrogant
or destructive as Kim but just as effective. He would have
got there quicker if he could have run properly as he had
the greyhound at the other end. The greyhound was playing
very sensibly and as I saw at Caerphilly a shot selection
that is more low risk which is all he needed to do as Manish
The partnership was 101 (record is137 for the third but this
is second I believe?) when Manish was finally stumped for
a superb 74 and to take us to within 10 of victory with 19
balls left. Dan called him a f*cker for costing us a bonus
point (ED - tongue in cheek) and Manish said “sorry
boys, should have seen it through”, apology accepted
I would say.
Pikey came in played one defensive shot to end the over then
Smitts went 4,4,4 off the next 3 balls and we had won by 7
wickets with 15 balls to spare. Like I said and as JR was
about to say, best thing that happened was Ash and JR getting
out! Seriously, despite the lack of fielders it was a brilliant
partnership. Smitty 37 not out. If we had got the opener early
and Skippy it could have been a low target but am glad we
didn’t in a way as it gave us a better game although
on paper we still won it easily.
Our fielding was pretty good with two outstanding bits to
make the run outs. The only thing I would say is that we do
bowl a few more wides than is comfortable and if it wasn’t
for Smitty they would be more so that is something we can
look to try and cut down on. Overall I would say very good
JR – ct 1-5 balls and 4 mins
Ash-bowled 0-11 balls and 14 mins
Vyas-stumped 74-65 balls in 59 mins -50 came off 38 balls-12
Smitts-not out 37-25 balls and 52 mins-5 fours
Pikey-not out 0-1 ball and 3 mins
Rich, Dewbs, Rog, Matt, Nads, Andy H did not bat
The innings lasted 66 mins and I broke wind 5 times during
it. Wickets fell at 3-1 14-2 and 115 for 3 and we won by 7