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Match report vs Isca Crows 20 May 07 @ Caerleon (Skipper Paul, report Steveo)

Well, i'll keep this brief as it was mostly a very tedious match, albeit a warm and sunny day. For some reason this match is always less than the sum of its parts and despite a nice enough oppo, a sunny day, a pitch in a pleasant situation, a decent club house/changing facilities, it still feels like a penance for some awful deed committed in a former life.

For some reason this game started dead on time (if not a little early!). this is unheard of and i only just made it, arriving as the boys were taking to the field. The Crows didn't look too formidable and indeed they made hard work of it. According to this scrap of paper Dan has given me they were only on 13 after 8 overs. Two overs later they had lost two wickets, beautifully bowled/caught/ stumped/run out or something.
Over 20 saw the score to 64 but with another couple of wkts gone. The rest all went in the next ten with only 99 gained all out. Our stats are as follows
muff - 6-1-11-1
Deji 4-1-6-0
Pewbs 5-0-21-1
DB 3-1-19-0
Pabs 4-1-11-4 (brilliantly done skipper!!)
kimberly 4-1-12-1
stevo 2-0-10-2 (yep folks, a match turning bowling performance!)
teshtickle 1.2- 0-6-1

hope that makes some sense to somebody

This is what turned the day around. we had to wait for it, which as you can imagine caused some consternation amongst the gentlemen casuals, and induced a rash of stony silences adjoined by an outbreak of crisps and assorted snacks

We were assured that the T would arrive soon, but was being cooked !! and due to the wicket collapse wasn't ready yet. now we were intrigued. and HUNGRY.
Eventually we were invited to the table and were aghast to find that the only cooked thing was potatoes. life was becoming unbearable. Muff and I got in quick (we NEED the food) and filled our plates and were half way finished by the time the two school dinner sized trays of MEAT PIE arrived, followed by sausages. well fuck me. it was every man for himself. Casuals eyes brimmed with happy tears, especially as we watched Goughy eating his potatoes. Then Peas arrived, oddly, and the cough cheered up. Then, bizarrely, a jug of gravy was presented, and gleefully distributed across the platefuls, even those with scones and jam on (well how was i to know there was going to be gravy?)

strange to say, our happy band were for once jovially filled to the brim, full in the knowledge that we had stuffed our faces and were not fielding second .
and so...
Kim got 51 not out
Mash got a very useful 8 bowled
goughy faffed around for 20 bowled (cuss, swear, rant, etc)
P ewbs made a match winning 2 Not Out
wickets fell after 42 and 82 runs
we finished on 102 -2, kim just about squeezing in his half century, much to everyone’s relief.

Almost as tedious as watching this dirge was listening to the batsmen (ok, Simon) moaning about how poor the strip was, or something, i wasn't really listening, but needless to say as boring as it might have been to bat on it was not as coma inducing as sitting on the veranda, listening to the fat white trash bitch-slapping their kids, the lardy lads larfing their shorts off whilst our boys pushed it to 25 overs. God help us.

Special mention should be made to the fine stop i made at short mid off or whatever its called, saving a sure four and almost taking a wonderful catch. the only thing that prevented it was my bizarre fingers that seemed determined to keep the ball away from me as i had another tourettes attack and bellowed COCK at full volume.
Sorry Muff, well bowled.

I’m sure other shit happened, but I’m fu@*&d if i can remember it.


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