Match report vs Isca Crows
20 May 07 @ Caerleon (Skipper Paul, report Steveo)
Well, i'll keep this brief as it was mostly a very tedious
match, albeit a warm and sunny day. For some reason this match
is always less than the sum of its parts and despite a nice
enough oppo, a sunny day, a pitch in a pleasant situation,
a decent club house/changing facilities, it still feels like
a penance for some awful deed committed in a former life.
For some reason this game started dead on time (if not a
little early!). this is unheard of and i only just made it,
arriving as the boys were taking to the field. The Crows didn't
look too formidable and indeed they made hard work of it.
According to this scrap of paper Dan has given me they were
only on 13 after 8 overs. Two overs later they had lost two
wickets, beautifully bowled/caught/ stumped/run out or something.
Over 20 saw the score to 64 but with another couple of wkts
gone. The rest all went in the next ten with only 99 gained
all out. Our stats are as follows
muff - 6-1-11-1
Pabs 4-1-11-4 (brilliantly done skipper!!)
stevo 2-0-10-2 (yep folks, a match turning bowling performance!)
teshtickle 1.2- 0-6-1
hope that makes some sense to somebody
NOW ... TO TEA
This is what turned the day around. we had to wait for it,
which as you can imagine caused some consternation amongst
the gentlemen casuals, and induced a rash of stony silences
adjoined by an outbreak of crisps and assorted snacks
We were assured that the T would arrive soon, but was being
cooked !! and due to the wicket collapse wasn't ready yet.
now we were intrigued. and HUNGRY.
Eventually we were invited to the table and were aghast to
find that the only cooked thing was potatoes. life was becoming
unbearable. Muff and I got in quick (we NEED the food) and
filled our plates and were half way finished by the time the
two school dinner sized trays of MEAT PIE arrived, followed
by sausages. well fuck me. it was every man for himself. Casuals
eyes brimmed with happy tears, especially as we watched Goughy
eating his potatoes. Then Peas arrived, oddly, and the cough
cheered up. Then, bizarrely, a jug of gravy was presented,
and gleefully distributed across the platefuls, even those
with scones and jam on (well how was i to know there was going
to be gravy?)
strange to say, our happy band were for once jovially filled
to the brim, full in the knowledge that we had stuffed our
faces and were not fielding second .
Kim got 51 not out
Mash got a very useful 8 bowled
goughy faffed around for 20 bowled (cuss, swear, rant, etc)
P ewbs made a match winning 2 Not Out
wickets fell after 42 and 82 runs
we finished on 102 -2, kim just about squeezing in his half
century, much to everyone’s relief.
Almost as tedious as watching this dirge was listening to
the batsmen (ok, Simon) moaning about how poor the strip was,
or something, i wasn't really listening, but needless to say
as boring as it might have been to bat on it was not as coma
inducing as sitting on the veranda, listening to the fat white
trash bitch-slapping their kids, the lardy lads larfing their
shorts off whilst our boys pushed it to 25 overs. God help
Special mention should be made to the fine stop i made at
short mid off or whatever its called, saving a sure four and
almost taking a wonderful catch. the only thing that prevented
it was my bizarre fingers that seemed determined to keep the
ball away from me as i had another tourettes attack and bellowed
COCK at full volume.
Sorry Muff, well bowled.
I’m sure other shit happened, but I’m fu@*&d
if i can remember it.