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Match report vs Staplegrove (tour) 2 September 07 @ Staplegrove (Skipper BA, report Muff)

Lying on my bed I wondered why it was still light outside, then Dan mentioned it was probably the fact it was dawn and we'd drunk the night away in the hotel bar. Bugger. 6 o'clock Sunday morning, better get some kip for the game ahead!

Shouldn’t have bothered as I slowly remembered id pulled an 'x' out of the hat and was going to sit out the game. As it turned out it was a blessing. Arriving at staplegrove, via a tortuous 'shortcut' that Dan thought was a good idea, we are greeted by the sight of a MASSIVE pitch with cinema style seating and a strange corner cut-out around someone’s garden. Going to hard to hit boundaries on this I idlely thought to myself!

To the game.
Pabs won the toss and stuck the oppo in, not sure why, wasn’t paying attention, sulking in a corner no doubt. Dewbs asked not to bowl and was duly ordered to open the attack from the 'cinema seat' end. The opening bat took a delivery to play himself in and cracked the next ball for 4.oops. The next 2 of young Spideys overs went the same way (to the boundary) although Rich did drop one of the openers on the boundary. Dewbs relieved to come off after 3 for 0-26.

Opening at the 'derelict' end Steveo started shakily but pulled it back to record what turned out to be 1 of only 2 maidens in the innings returning great figures of 0-18 of his 5. Next up Winky. Ahh order is restored Andy picking up the first wicket in his first over bowled. Dan joined the Hood in the attack and then followed 21 overs of cautious batting, smacking anything loose to the boundary and some, it has to be said, quite awful fielding. Can’t remember how many drops there were but it was ALOT. Pabs, DT, Foxy and Shakey all tried their luck but to no avail until Pabs, in his second spell had the no.3 caught behind to what memory serves was a decent catch behind by the Gough.

This brought a certain Mr Pantling to the wicket and, my dear readers, it was moida.
His score reads; and that’s about how long he took. He deposited both Dan and Winky into the car park which on this ground were BIG hits! He finally went bowled by Andy for 60. The oppo went from 167-2 off 31 to 235-3 off 39!

Everybody got spanked so no shame, the guy (who apparently bats no.9 for the first team, yikes!) was class, clean hitting, no slogs and so is obviously a c#@t!

To tea and a rather nice selection of sweet and savoury washed down with a cup of rosy restored the casuals and so to the task of chasing down 245 to win began.

The Councillor and Easy (who had entertained us with some rather stylish dancing in the field) opened up and doggedly moved us on to 36 off 12 before Easy fell for 12. to an adult. A change of bowling brought someone who was either very small or far away into the attack. After discussion it was determined he was small and very YOUNG. Simon in next looked determined to make an impression (of someone other than a stumpy grumpy) on the game but went caught off the bowling of the child for 5.
R ichy after his 'x' in the first game strode to the wicket to make his mark, which he did, on the crease on middle and off, and soon went for 1 lbw to the child. 56-3 off 18.

The Hood up next took the attack to the oppo scoring freely but unfortunately lost partners at an alarming rate, first Shakey for a well crafted 34 then Spiderboy for 0 then Steveo (after a lovely straight smack for 4) all by the child who was then taken off as he was too good for us even at ten years old for figures of 4-14-5!!!!! 65-6 off 21. Foxy came and sadly went for 0 bowled at which point Shagger entered the fray. He and Andy played some lovely shots hitting the bad and not so bad balls to all parts getting a 50 partnership and ushering the casuals to a more respectable 118-8 off 31.

Pabs up next looked to keep the score moving putting on another 50 with Shag before falling for 23.
Now with Dan on 40 and looking good for his fifty DB strode like a colossus to the crease and for the second match running strode off after one ball bowled for nought leaving poor old Dan high and dry on 40 not out.

Casuals 161 all out in the 39th. Well and truly thrashed we retired to the bar for a quick one before the journey home safe in the knowledge that we are crap and happy to be so if it means we actually enjoy ourselves rather than act like a bunch of carrot crunching woolybacks who think their God (not bitter though!). Well done to those who played as it really was a good effort against vastly better opposition and apologies to everyone I upset due to my non-playing hissy fits!
Roll on next year!!!!!


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