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Match report vs WAG’s 19 July 2006 @ Llandaff fields (skipper and report Richie)

Right then I ranted enough during the game so I’ll keep the report succinct and to the point (I’ve repeated myself already … f*ck!)

We were due to play a WAG representative XI, but as it was only one of them turned up, accompanied by what seemed at the time to be a whoop of bell ringers (what am I on about?), it was more of a liquorice allsorts XI.

Anyway to the game – I lost the toss and they decided to bat – I went to shake their captain’s hand and he turned his back on me and walked off…!

Dan opened the bowling from the from the Howells school end and it must be said bowled rather jolly well given that Llandaff Fields is renowned for their SHIT pitches (not to mention the fact that there were no changing rooms open and we had to use a handily placed bench to hide behind whilst whiting up). As I was saying Dan bowled rather well during his 4 over slot and was the unluckiest chap on the field to have only taken one wicket (bowled) by the end of his foray (4-1-9-1).

Whilst Dan was ably shoring up one end a certain Master Justin made his long overdue season bow at the former lido end. And after a certain wayward beginning he soon found his line and length troubling the batsmen time and again but finishing with an empty shopping bag at the and of his stint with figure of 4-0-20-0.

At this point the score was about 29 for 1 off 8.

A certain Scotty Fitzgerald was next to chance his arm but struggled after his early strike (caught – Colin (Mavely – batsmen) at mid on) to finish on 3-0-25-1.

I had invited Ed to test his knees out at the other end (careful! - Ed’s struggling a bit with them at the moment – well actually there much worse following this game!) and he did a wonderful job in taking two wickets (1 bowled and the other well taken behind (oh there I go again - this is like a carry on film – you know I’m enjoying doing this report much more than I did playing the f*cking game !!) by Goughy – he’s very good with his hands. Ed finished with figures of 4-0-21-2.

Matt Davies bowled the final 3 at the Howells end and really returned a man of the match performance with a Michelle. Not too sure about the order they came in but he had two bowled, two caught (both by Paul at mid wicket) and a stumping (again it’s Simon and his nimble fingers!). Congratulations Matt on an excellent achievement with so few overs to work in.

Kim took the final two overs from the other end and took some punishment in figures of 2-0-18-0 but his turn would come with the bat.

The opposition (if I can call them that for that is what they were) finished on 111 for 9 off 20 overs.

Out of 24 Extras there were 22 wides (at least that’s what they umpired) and 2 byes.

Kim and Tesh opened the batting for the Casz and after 5 overs we looked in a strong position at 29 for 0.

Indeed after 8 overs the score had increased to 43 still without loss and the mood was hopeful at camp Casz. Indeed we were even in the mood to help out two poor damsels (well one was okay but as Paul commented to Dan – he didn’t fancy his much – lets face it she was like a rather plump hubba bubba ….) pointing them towards Pontcanna Fields and probably the burger van.

Not sure which over it was when we lost a wicket but Kim was first to fall (caught) for 28 with the core on 67 – an excellent solid opening partnership.

After being distracted by some of our waiting batsmen, who were probing me about the score, I had rather unfortunately enquired as to whether Mr Fitzgerald was ‘taking the piss’ when he raised the question of how many balls were left in the over. After the distraction I had inadvertently started entering details in the next bowler’s box and it appeared to me that only one ball had been bowled when the enquiry was made. After my foolish outburst the mix up was soon resolved and the game continued – apologies to Scott (who quite clearly was not taking the liquidatioush waste and a lesson here to the me – ignore people probing you when you’re scoring without a companion!!

That’s another thing they didn’t even have a scorebook.

Tesh was still batting well and was joined by Colin (batsmen) Mavely again another season debutant and the pair put on 29 before Tesh was stumped trying to up the pace (as we had by now got a little bogged down) for an enjoyable 36 with some superbly well timed superlative strokes. The score had reached 96 for 2.

Goughy was in at no. 4 – again I’m unsure as to how many overs were left but there weren’t too may for him to see himself in. In fact I’m not even sure how much strike he got for the remainder of the innings.

Colin (high elbow) Mavely was next out - run out – for 8. The score 100 for 3

It was darkening and that wasn’t just my mood.

Fitzy was in and out like a dogs cock (?) (stumped for 0) and Matt soon followed (run out) after a sumptuous 4. 101 for 4 became 105 for 5.

The game with 1 ball remaining was all but over. With me removing my pads and then following Jamie’s advice (and to be fair he had a point even though he’d had a few) that I’d better put them back on for the remaining ball as I was next in at the non strikers end. The last ball was well bowled and we were unable to gat anything. Simon finishing on 3 not out and myself on 0 not out.

We finished on 105 for 5 off 20 overs

Out of 26 extras there was 1 no ball, 4 leg byes and at least 21 wides

The real shocker came when I was asked to stump up half the pitch fees so that the cost could be halved. Only the Welsh Assembly could come up with that one and it was what looked like the only civil servant in their team who asked it. Apologies to the CS’s in out team but he looked like one!

Reading this report you may wonder why I was in such a foul mood after the game – not even sure myself now actually! But I stewed in my sweaty pants all the way home on the train …and that I won’t forget in a hurry.

Also a special mention to Paul for playing despite getting twatted on the Sunday before whilst keeping and for tidying up the kit bag – I wonder how long it’ll stay like it !


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