Match Report vs Barry West End 17 July 2018 @ The Island (Skipper Dan, report Paul)

These things usually start out by saying what a lovely or cloudy or cold day it was. But this day was bloody hot, not pleasantly hot, not a blade of green grass was spotted all day. It looked like a scene from Lawrence of Arabia or Beau Geste, the military theme is quite fitting here but more of that later.

Did I mention it was fucking hot; the outfield, which is normally sharpish, was quicker than Usain Bolt’s arse after a dodgy curry. There was a mention of mutiny and calling the game off so we could go on the shows and eat candyfloss but too late, we had been spotted, buggering off would have looked bad considering the international women’s bowls tournament going on the other side of the club house. (I know, I was shocked too, the last time Barry had an international event it was the ill-fated one-legged arse-kicking contest of 2013.)

Anyhow, Captain Dan won the toss and elected to bat, much to the delight of the gathered Casuals and he sent Luvvers and Rob out to open up.

Last time we played here it was a damp grassy pitch, we lost the toss and batted first and managed a resounding 66 all out from 35 overs. I know this as this was the usual one time in every year when Dan asks the question “do you fancy a bat today Pabs” followed by the correct response of “if you want me to skip” followed by me playing and missing every other ball and staying in for 12 overs resulting in a grand total of 8 runs. It moved everywhere, up, down, side to side, over my head, along the floor, every bloody way a cricket ball could move, it did.

This though, was a ROAD. Tap it and unwrap it, miss the infield and it was 4, Rob was out in the 20th over for a very good 37, Sergeant Luvvers, our very own Legionnaire was 63 not out at this stage and they had put on 109 runs, there were boundaries yes but the bowling was fairly accurate and a feature of the partnership was the good quick running and the taking of singles on offer as the infield was set back because the outfield was so quick.

These quick singles do come back to haunt you though, as Will, Dave and I always say “nothing good cam come from being fit or running”. This is the point where our fit soldier starts to hallucinate like Jenny Agutter in Walkabout, (ah the mammaries, sorry memories). Gareth, on this boiling hot day and running around was feeling cold! Apparently this is the first sign of heat exhaustion, drinks only paused the agony. In the end I went out to umpire with a bottle of water so he could drink after every over. I like to think that this was the turning point of the day and I was the overall reason for our victory.

A recovering Luvvers was joined by “I can count to five” Jesus for another great partnership of 83, Will made a swashbuckling 65 with one enormous six that I remember and then Luvvers was eventually out for a brilliant and exhausting looking 106, caught having a swipe. All piss taking aside all 3 bated brilliantly and it was a great watch both from the sidelines and when I was umpiring.

Dave White had joined Will before Will’s demise. Dave made a solid 18 not out. Now while all this batting was going on our number five batsman was full of encouragement. I wont name him but these are some of his enthusiastic rousing comments
“Come on you Casuals, plenty of batting to come”
“Howzaaaaaat, surely that was out”
“Run him out”
“There’s three there, lazy fuckers”
“I don’t mind what happens, I just want to get out there”

In he came, run out without facing a ball, priceless almost Goffian.

Dan joined Dave for 3 not out, Casuals 251 for 4 off our allotment.

Luvvers 106
Rob 37
Jesus 65
Dave White 18 not out
Uhhem 0
Dan 3 not out

A good tea was laid on as usual; Shakey had prepared (?) melon as well but it was warm as there was no room in the fridge. We rehydrated and prepared for 40overs of hard slog in the field hoping to defend 251.

They started quite slowly thanks to Dan with 3 maidens on the trot and ending up with figures of 5 overs, 3 maidens 0 for 9. Dave Thomas at the other end was equally miserly going for 14 off his wicket less 8 overs.

Shakes made the breakthrough (I think, I cant remember and the scorebook picture is fuzzy), getting one of the openers caught by Dan, the other opener, the left hander was snared by Pete, caught behind by Steve (I know!!). As I said either of these things could have happened first I can’t remember, but the fall of wickets was 35 and 49 so not that far apart.

They then had a long partnership of 64 between the three and four batsman, it never looked like getting out of control though after the slow start, This partnership was broken by Dave White capping off a good day with 1 for 13, caught behind again by Steve (gloves as soft as a ducks feathers that man!!).

Shakes meanwhile went for 23 off his 8 with the aforementioned wicket and Pete finished with six overs 1 for 36.

I turned my arm over and knocked over a kid with a slow off spinner and took a fine throw from long off from Jesus to run out their number 4 for a well made 47.

Rich also got a wicket, bowled. He had 4 overs 1 for 38 and I had 6 overs 1 for 31.

Barry WE 181 for 6 off 40, Casuals win by 70 runs.

Off to the West End (not that one) for a drink and sandwiches, which were not finished when I left but we may have got a second wind.

A good day, a long day, maybe our first win on the Island (check that someone).
Oh, and did I mention, it was pissing hot.

back