Match Report vs Barry Wanderers 24 May 2015 @ Hayes Point (Skipper Kim, report Britpop)

ROLF SPANKED BY TWO LITTLE BOYS - Barry Wanderers, Hayes Point

So Derek the weatherman fucked up again and the game went ahead on time at 1.30pm despite the late arrival of the kit and our opening batsman Mr Britton who got dropped down to three.

Captain Kimbo and Mr Tickle strode out to open the batting and made a positive start going along at 5 an over for the first four overs before captain fantastic was snaffled by the bowler in an excellent c&b.

Britpop then joined Test at the crease and keep the score ticking along at 5 an over until the numpty chased a wide one (shortly after telling Tesh there was no need to chase wide ones) and was caught in the covers by captain Sooty – score 65-2 after 14.

Ed then joined Tesh in the middle and after a few early swishes and misses he started connecting and the score swiftly moved onto 92-2 at drinks.

A couple of overs after drinks Tesh lost concentration and missed a straight one – given out LBW for a decent 34 in the 22nd over. Ash was next up and after a watchful first couple of overs joined Ed in taking the attack to the Wanderers. Ed was starting to tick by now and the ball was being carted, cut, driven and pulled to the boundary in regular fashion as Ed moved onto 50 in the 30th over.

Ed’s next 50 came in just 20 balls including 2 dots, 9 singles, 7 fours and a couple of sixes – with the final six bringing up his first century for a couple of years, evoking memories of the summer of 2012 before being burdened with the club captaincy. Fantastic knock – well played Mr Cheese.

Ed then retired on 101 to protect his average and give Ian a bat – who did his utmost to pinch my nickname of freckles! – 10 dots before being run out. Meanwhile Ash had moved into the 40’s with some lovely strokes including a few back foot straight punches down the ground. Shakey then made the mistake of telling Ash he was nearing his 50 with just a couple of overs left to get it! After a couple of frustrating dots, he marched down the track, swung his bat, pulled his hamstring, missed the ball and was stumped for a very good 43. Richie and Shakey both finished the innings on a run apiece with no time to impress! Final total 232 for 4.

Lovely Tea – pictures and report hopefully to follow.

After Ashes efforts and a tight hammy, Darren ‘Iron gloves’ Britpop Britton took the gloves with Rolf and Rob opening the bowling.

Both starting well with Rolf picking up a wicket with his 1st delivery caught by Tesh and bowling the number 3 batsman in his 2nd over with one which nipped off the seam and down the hill - 13 for 2 after 4. Rob got in on the act in his 3rd over with a wicket off a wide full bunger – caught well by Kim diving forward in the covers before sending the batsman off in the way only an Australian can. Rolf picked up another in his 5th over with another excellent and similar delivery using the slope well – 39 for 4 in the 10th.

Pete and Shakey replaced the opening bowlers with Pete getting a ‘bit’ of treatment in his first wayward over before finding his line in his next few overs. Shakey on the other hand bowled nice and tight and was unlucky to have old ‘iron gloves’ behind the stumps with a stumping and edge both being refused by the hapless gloveman.
Their number 4 and 6 then put on a decent partnership of 70 before Pete had Downey caught excellently by Rickie (Moen Ali-esk) over his shoulder running backwards to make the score 115 – 5.

Tesh took over the bowling and struggled in his first over to find his line or the pitch before picking up a wicket in his 3rd over as Shakey plucked what he thought was a cupcake out of the sky, only to find it was a little too leathery to munch. Shakey then refused the next catch after discovering the uneatable nature of the previous catch but caught the next one after convincing himself of it ‘pie like’ qualities off the bowling of Rickie to make the score 120 – 7.

Kim then decided to bring on himself and Ian, with the later taking a bit of punishment from their now fluent number 4 batsman. Kim bowled surprisingly accurately as Bowles and Sooty put on over 60 before he bowled their skipper for 30 and took the key wicket of Bowles with a fine caught and bowled – 182 – 8 in the 36th over.

With only 2 little boys left to bat there was only one man for it, and Rolf was brought back into the attack – striving to ‘put one up them’ he roared in with his didgeridoo up looking for his 4th wicket. With added desperation and increasing pace, Rolf ran in trying to hit Jake’s middle peg before the young batsman tired of the ever encroaching field, rocked back and ‘spanked’ Rolf over midwicket to the boundary to be greeted to the biggest roar of the afternoon.

Rolf wasn’t gonna be spanked about by two little boys anymore and after increasing his run up to 40 yards, sprinted in and finally ended the poor young man’s resistance clipping his leg stump to end proceedings on 191 all out in the 39th over.

Excellent game, great fun – well done all.
Casuals winning by 41 runs.
Ends.

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