Match Report vs Clytha
- 16th August 2009@ The Moat (Skipper and Report Jam)
Why do we bother coming here? or You should have used your
bat!
After meeting at the Clytha Arms, the Casz formed a convoy
to The Moat via a grassy field (with no cows), a muddy bog
and another field with even longer grass. How the cars made
it, we’ll never know, especially Muff’s Beetle,
but made it we did, most of us wondering, why do we come here?
The changing room, sorry garden shed, was full of shit as
usual, the pitch looked rough as fuck as usual, the outfield
was full of holes as usual and the boundary was ‘marked’
(not!) by even longer grass than usual. Why do we come here?
The pitch was only going to get worse so it was no surprise
that Clytha elected to bat. “What are we playing?”
asked JF, “40 overs, maximum of 8?”
“God no, you might have a bit of opposition to that.
Maybe 35 overs. Do you really want to bowl eight overs? Er
… hang on, I’ll ask the captain”
They seemed to be making up the rules as they went along,
but they eventually settled on 35 overs, maximum of six, meaning
I’d have to find an extra bowler from somewhere ...
Why do we come here?
Muff & Pablo opened pretty well with a 4 over spell each,
but with a slow pitch and very short boundaries, there was
absolutely no margin for error: you could bowl 4 or 5 dots
and still go for 4 or 5 an over which is exactly what happened.
The pair were unlucky not to take any wickets as there were
a lot of uppish shots which didn’t carry or went between
fielders etc (and keeper Goughy did mention that one of the
batsmen was using his pad a lot!).
Shandy & Mojam took over and it was more of the same,
Clytha going well at 57-0 after 11 overs until Mo made the
breakthrough in the 12th over, getting the other opener bowled.
2 overs later he had a double wicket maiden, one bowled and
one caught by Cracker running round from point. Mo’s
next 3 overs cost a single run, so his final analysis was
an amazing 6 overs, 4 maidens, 3 wickets for 5 runs –
excellent bowling which pegged the innings right back. Goughy
also chipped in with a direct run out (in between continuing
to tell the opener he should use his bat instead of his pad
– a theme later taken up by Ed).
Needing to find a few overs, the skipper brought himself
on. In his first over he reached out one handed to try and
take a c&b opportunity, but only managed to deflect the
ball into the bollocks of the said opener at the non-striker’s
end. As he doubled over, grabbing his groin, I couldn’t
resist shouting, ‘You should’ve used your bat!’
- I’m glad to say he saw the funny side of it.
Cracker took over from JF and again bowled pretty well apart
from the odd loose one that was punished. Once Muff &
Pablo had bowled out, JF switched ends and bowled a wicket
maiden, finally getting the opener bowled playing round a
straight one for 49. At the time we thought that was a good
wicket, but it brought in a young kid sporting a Cheltenham
College shirt, who proceeded to smack everything as the final
overs approached, scoring 26 off about 9 balls and denting
Jam’s figures in the process – it was a bit like
a Dan innings, only with more class! [ED: That was a bit uncalled
for...but probably true!!] He eventually top edged JF to midwicket
where Paul took a safe catch and that brought a bit of a cricket
spaz to the wicket for the final over which Cracker bowled
beautifully, taking his wicket and only conceding 1 run.
Clytha 151-6 off 35 overs.
Muff 6-1-20-0
Pablo 6-0-28-0
Shandy 6-0-24-0
Mojam 6-4-5-3
Jam 6-1-40-2
Cracker 5-0-27-1
No drinks during the innings. Why do we come here?
No tea in between innings. Why do we come here?
As envisaged, the pitch had got gradually worse throughout
the Clytha innings, so at just under 4½ an over, 152
was an intriguing target. There was always the chance of wickets
with the ball popping or staying low, but then anything short
would just sit up and beg to be hit and anything loose could
be dispatched to the short boundaries.
Smitty & Easy opened and in the face of some steady line
& length bowling, neither really came to terms with the
wicket. Ironically, Chris was out from the first loose ball
that he faced as it cut back and hit him in the chest and
then went on to the stumps - very unlucky.
This brought Paul to the crease and he looked very assured
from ball one, but could only look on from the other end as
Smitty, Goughy and Richie were all bowled in pretty quick
succession, leaving us reeling at 16-4 after 11 overs. Why
do we come here?
Mojam came in next and the Casz were hoping his bowling
form could be transferred to the bat. After a steady start,
his 7th ball was a head high full toss which was smacked nonchalantly
to the long leg boundary for 6 and anything loose thereafter
was put away in similar fashion. Paul sized up the situation
perfectly and pretty much dropped anchor, keeping out the
good ones, dispatching the odd bad one and taking lots of
singles to give Mo the strike. The pair had put on 54 when
Paul was caught at point off one that stopped in the pitch
for a very good 24.
Nevertheless, the rebuilding had been done and at 70-5 after
21 overs, the Casz had recovered from the dreadful start and
were back in the game, requiring 82 to win off 84 balls. Jam
joined Mojam and played a few shots from the start, including
one rather large straight six off Goughy’s mate, their
opening bat – I refrained from saying “That’s
how you use your bat” but I did have a chuckle to myself!
Mo looked to be set for a well deserved 50 but his run-a-ball
innings was ended on 41 when he came down the track and was
bowled by a rank long hop that hit the stumps on the way down
– had he stayed in his ground it would have sat up nicely
and been heading towards the next field in a hurry, but them’s
the breaks, I guess. 102-6 off 26, 50 needed off 9, with Shandy
joining the skipper in the middle.
Unfortunately for Clytha, Shandy continued where Mojam left
off, playing some exquisite shots all round the park, including
a couple of off drives that were pure class. I have to say
that this was the best I’ve ever seen Shandy play and
it was a real pleasure to watch from the other end. The running
between the wickets was also good and as the pair continued
to play their shots, the bowling got more ragged and you could
see the fielders losing heart as 45 runs were added in 6 overs.
With only 5 required off 3 overs, their opening bowler came
back. Shandy took a single from the first delivery and a couple
of balls later, the skipper stepped down the track to finish
it with a straight four back past the bowler.
Casuals 152-6 off 32.4 overs
Smitty bowled 4 (18 balls)
Easy bowled 0 (11)
Pablo caught 24 (48) 3x4s
Goughy bowled 2 (4)
Richie bowled 1 (11)
Mojam bowled 41 (41) 5x4s, 1x6
Johnny F not out 38 (32) 6x4s, 1x6
Shandy not out 32 (21) 4x4s
Muff, Cracker & Porno dnb
Casuals won by 4 wickets.
No showers after the game. Why do we come here?
Back to the pub through the forest, the bog and cowless but
extremely bumpy field. Why do we come here?
As we were supping our drinks, then came the stupid question
– “Will you boys be wanting food?”
About 10 minutes and £25 later, out came the most
unbelievable roast dinner: a mountain of soft Yorkshire puddings,
a tray of succulent beef in shades running from well done
to pink, another tray of huge mouth-watering cuts of pork
with crackling to die for and bowls of potatoes, peas, large
roasties and delicious gravy. On the same night that Usain
Bolt set a new world record for the 100m, Paul set another
world record for the amount of roast potatoes that could be
heaped upon one plate (fortunately, they brought out another
bowl, so we did leave some for the opposition this time!).
After demolishing one plateful each, we then all proceeded
to grab a second helping and even though all our plates were
licked clean, there was still beef left over! Why do we come
here? – That’s why!! It’s the best food
ever after a game of cricket!!
To be fair, the cricket was also a good game, ebbing &
flowing, played in a good spirit (in spite of Goughy making
new friends!) and although we made it quite convincingly in
the end, an extra wicket or two at crucial times could have
put us right under pressure again. All in all, a good job
well done.
Why do we come here? ... Well, there are already 11 players
available for next year’s fixture.
back
|