6 Tintern 1 June 08

Dark clouds were looming as we approached Chepstow after our B&Q rendezvous and sure enough as we arrived it was raining. Tintern was not looking quite as glorious as it can with the weather and scaffolding making the Abbey look a bit crappy. Dave told me in the car that once he was chased by cows and had to jump over a fence so that put a smile on my face. Despite the rain and pitch looking rather soggy (Rudry like) we got changed and after Goughy won the toss and decided to bat, the oppo walked out keen to get on with it. The rain continued through most of our innings but it was never very heavy and it wasn’t cold. At many places we would not have played or certainly not started in it but away we went and despite being wet it never became a farce.

The heavyweight partnership of Big Willy and Shakey opened up and a fine one it was. Willy was mostly dealing in singles (though he was trying to twat them) while Shakes was mostly twos and fours. Willy went for 17 from the second ball of the first change bowler. Smitty was sat next to me when he bowled his first ball and made a comment along the lines of “that is not the best bowling he had seen” or words to that effect. The second ball came and Smitty said “just twat it” and it then took Willy’s bail off. 44 for 1 in the 11th with 31 balls and two fours.

Smitty then walked out and was next to go stumped for 11 off 15 balls including a four which was of course through the leg side. The bowler was of course the same one that got Will. 73 for 2 in the 17th with Shakes there on 36.

Andy Hood was at 4 and played the same bowler with plenty of respect. Shakey then reached his 50 with consecutive fours, a really top knock in the conditions; he put away the bad balls expertly. He then tried one shot too many and was bowled for 53 off the same bowler. 93 for 3 in the 21st over, 72 balls faced and 9 fours.

The main thing Shakey commented on was that it was not easy out there and that he has now scored 3542 runs and when he got to 11 he passed 3500. Funnily enough his fave shot on this day happened to be the four through the covers that took him from 10 to 14.

The next wicket fell at the same score with the first ball from bowler number 5. The batsman was Andy H and the umpire was D Thomas, the decision was LBW, the bowler said thanked the umpire and I shall say no more. About a minute after he sat back down Andy was heard to use the F word in quite an aggressive manner, I think you can get the picture. 93 for 4 in the 22nd with Andy out for 2 off 10 balls.

It wasn’t much later when the next wicket fell. This was a bizarre one. Jeff Clap was wonderfully in the team and from his 6th ball hit it deep into the covers and called Rich back for two with Rich it seemed heading for the danger end. The throw though came back to the strikers end but Jeff was looking the other way i.e. behind him to see if Rich was safe by which time he was run out. If he had just ran he would have got there easily, it was quite bizarre to watch and comments of “that was fucking shocking” were to be heard. Put it down to rustiness I think, at least he got a single first. 95 for 5 in the 23rd became 95 for 6 in the 24th when Rich was bowled by Dave’s friend with a mixture of bat and pad before hitting the stumps. Rich had gone for 1 off 3 balls and we had gone from 73 for 1 in the 17th to 95 for 6 in the 24th.

Dan was in by now and had been joined by Goughy in an unfamiliar role of number 8. Dan managed to twat two fours before his self control got the better of him and he was bowled for 9 off 11 balls by Dave’s mate. I am sure you have a picture of the Lewis shot in your head by now. 108 for 7 in the 26th.

At this stage we were in a spot of bother but a really really great partnership of 55 was then put together by Goughy and Dewbs. They really helped put us back in the driving seat with a mixture of deft touches and through mid wicket slaps. Dewbs eventually was run out for 21 when he was sent back but at least he was thinking about it and now looks very comfortable with a bat in his hand. 108 for 7 became 163 for 8 in the 37th so well done to you two. This brought Furny to the wicket who managed a couple of singles and a four while Goughy continued his Michael Bevan impression and abusing me at the same time. He loudly said “lots of quick singles now then Andy” firmly tongue in cheek and said to the oppo “well look at him he is too fat to run quick singles”. One of the fielders said “you can’t let him talk to you like that” to which I replied “well it is a fair comment”. As you can probably tell there was an excellent spirit out there.

Now I have had some very dodgy LBWs against me in my time, the full toss at my waist that I edged into my box springs to mind plus one against the old guy from Penarth which pitched about two foot outside leg stump but let me tell you that I was totally and most definitely out, in fact I could have walked off before Andys finger and without wishing to sound like I am making excuses it did keep very low but to be fair to the pitch it didn’t happen very often and I still should have got bat on it. 173 for 9 in the 39th and trigger finger himself without a helmet strode to the wicket. 3 of his runs later he popped up a caught and bowled to leave Goughy not out on a superb 33 with two balls left for a grand total of 178. The opening partnership and then Gough and Dewbs making it look easy when it quite clearly wasn’t.

After tea and Shakey stocking up on Penguins to go on the field with we went back out and despite it being very gloomy the rain stayed away while we were in the field.

Dewbs opened up, with Jeff from the Abbey end. They didn’t do our book and although I copied stuff off their book I can’t give all the details. I do know that Dewbs started well and Jeff is just Jeff. Rusty as a bowler he was most certainly not. There was no record of the fall of wickets but Jeff took his first wicket bowled and his second (worst over he bowled) was a catch at short mid wicket by – wait for it-, trigger finger Thomas who took an excellent catch over his shoulder. To say he was relieved is an understatement. To say we were surprised is also an understatement!!!

At the other end Dewbs was finding life a bit harder but the ball was not easy to grip so Dewbs started struggling with his length a bit. With the short boundaries, poor balls were punished though he did beat the bat a lot as well. Dewbs finished on 5 overs for 32.

Dave took over from Dewbs and despite the wet ball proved he is a better bowler than umpire and continued to bowl consistently well as he has for several years now. Will and Dewbs helped Dave take his two wickets by making the catches look easy. Jeff at the other end finished up with 8 overs 2 for 21. Goughy took over from the Abbey end. At drinks they were 90 for 3 while we were 93 for 2 but they didn’t have anywhere near the depth we had but the one opener was still there and batting very well.

Goughys fast arm was doing the business though and he bowled out two of them which indeed gave him wood. The quick turn around and bowl from Gough was not seen at all (when he is miffed) which will tell you that he was in control. He also got in on the act when Dave did a good dummy for a caught and bowled and Goughy covering behind Dave threw the stumps down underarm from a fair distance for this poor kid to be run out without facing after being sent back by the opener. Goughy said he almost felt sorry for him, good fielding though and by now you couldn’t see them winning even though the opener was still there.

Shakes replaced Dave and took the opener with the help of a catch at long off that Goughy made look easy. Applause rang out as he walked off for a fantastic 89. This certainly meant that we would win and they needed about 50 off the last 5. Despite the odd blow from “Mutley” they were never going to win and the captain always had Andy H and Dan up his sleeve just in case. Will bowled 3 overs including a couple of head hunters which caused a few comments from the locals on the boundary though Mutley just laughed as Will apologised. Rich also had a bowl and fared much better than his last bowl against the strollers with a double bounce LBW and a caught behind by Smitty to finish the game. The oppo were most impressed by our keeper I should add.

What could have been a washout and a bit silly turned out to be a decent afternoon of cricket where Goughy despite being the day after his stag was in the thick of everything. Pity the weather wasn’t better even if only to have more tourists around and therefore more f*nny. There was one girl who walked passed while we were batting and was spotted by none other than AH. My eyes are no good but the question was asked “how old do you think she is then”? Winkie was obviously trying to cheer himself up after the LBW.

Pikey, it don’t matter if it rains, we can play anyway. A rather fun afternoon all in all.

Dewbs 5-0-32-0 2 no balls
Jeff 8-2-21-2
Dave 8-1-32-2 3 no balls
Gough 8-2-20-2 2 wides
Shakey 5-1-13-1
Will 3-1-15-0 1 no ball
Rich 1.5-0-10-2

Shakes – 53
Will-17
Smitty-12
Andy H-2
Rich-1
Jeff-1
Dan-9
Goughy-33 not out
Dewbs-21
Andy F-6
Dave- 3

On the way home Dave told me about his camping trip as assistant camp leader where he and brown owl or whatever you call him had to sleep in the same tent as the scouts and one of them was w*nking in his sleep!!! F*ck me I would be sleeping day and night and taking sleeping pills!!!

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