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Name: JOHN FURNHAM
Weight: 11 stone 7 last time I looked, but I may have put on 1 or 2 lbs since then …
Nickname: Mr F, Johnny F (boring or what?) - used to be OLO but I don't sell used cars any more.
Batsman? Bowler? Keeper? None of the above? Something else : Attempted all of it in my time.
Batting style? "plodding and anodyne"
General cricketing style? I'm not sure that 'fat and sleepy' could be described as a style - not so much W G Grace as Young Mr Grace from Are You Being Served?
Previous Teams played for? The Bluebell, The Tavistock, Cardiff Nomads plus guest appearances for The Orchestra, Machen and YMCA.
How long have you been (a) casual? July 2nd 2005 was my 10th anniversary.
Number of games played for the Casuals? No idea - I predate written records - about 200
What you bring to the Casuals team? A knackered old yellow bag and the oldest bat in Cardiff. I also ensure that we don't insult our hosts by leaving any tea - that would be churlish.
Who is your Doppleganger? My wife thinks I look like Johnny Depp, but her guide dog reckons I'm more like Johnny Vegas. Someone in work says I look like Michael Portillo - I'd prefer Johnny Vegas!
Favourite food? Is there any other type? If I had to choose it would be a good Chinese, a good curry or the greasiest triple/quadruple burger you could find - without any of that salad shit of course!
Favourite music? Elvis, Mozart or Flamenco/Sevillanas
Favourite film? Too many to narrow down to one favourite: in English -The Exorcist, Life of Brian, ET, Psycho, King Kong, The Sound of Music (honestly), Calamity Jane (yeah, I know), Amadeus, Ben Hur, To Kill a Mocking Bird and early Elvis stuff.
In foreign - Life is Beautiful, The Bicycle Thieves, Ran, Rashomon, Jules et Jim, Truffaut's Antoine Doinel series, Jean de Florette & Manon des Sources, All About My Mother, La Cabina Telefónica, The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, Un C hien Andalou etc, etc,etc.
Other hobbies? Bullfighting, though it tends to be as a spectator rather than as a participant these days. I also like reading, theatre and cinema but don't get to go as often as I'd like.
What was your last DVD / CD purchase?

Tierra de Toros (7 DVD box set - everything the aficionado needs to know about the birth, life and death of the Spanish fighting bull - fantastic!!)
King Creole (Elvis at his best)
Legend of the Mummy 2 (for the kids to watch in the car - shite!)

Last time I went to buy a CD they were still 12-inch vinyl LPs! I almost bought a CD about two years ago but Woolworths had sold out of Showaddywaddy's Greatest Hits. Nevertheless, I did recently pick up a couple of Flamenco CDs on e-bay, together with Songhai 2 by Ketama featuring Toumani Diabate and Jose Soto.

What 3 people would you most like to invite to a dinner party?: Jesus Christ and Elvis. For my third choice, I can't make up my mind between Julius Caesar and Federico García Lorca - Roman general, conqueror and Emperor of most of the known world or a gay Spanish poet and literary genius … tough choice.
Ideal Woman? My beautiful partner, Julia, of course! (Or if she's not reading this, Penélope Cruz - beautiful, filthy rich, and being Spanish, she could help me keep my hand in!)
Age you started playing the glorious game? 29
Best performance? Jumping 6.90m at Grangemouth in 1979 to win the British Schools Championships, setting a new Welsh record which lasted 12 years.
Probably scoring 82 opening against a good Sully bowling attack. I have got higher scores, but not against such good bowling.
I also rate my 26 against the Lord's Taverners' opening bowlers as the best 26 I've ever scored.
Favourite game played? The same Sully game when we chased down a good total with everyone contributing, and finished magnificently by Furnham Jnr.
Our first tour game against Pumsaint in 1996 where I got 56 out of about 102, and we made them battle for every single run - "10 good balls, 9 good balls …" etc.
Favourite venue played …ever? Cowbridge, St Fagans, Clifton College and Brynmawr in that order.
Cricketer you most admire and why? Viv Richards - if you have to ask why, you never saw him play - but also for his professionalism and the way he dug in at Glamorgan: he helped turn the club around in spite of continually being pestered by grown men asking for autographs.
Casual cricketer you most admire and why? Andy Hood has long been our best bowler,an excellent batsman and very good fielder, yet you will never hear it from him: he just carries on putting in good performances in an unflustered and self-effacing manner. Class player and class person.
Funniest moment on the Casuals field? I wasn't there for Gazza's Torville & Dean impression but it was superb on the video.
I also enjoyed "Pitch it up, Gaz" and the next ball hitting a 70 year old in the chest - not funny in itself but the old guy's Keystone Cop pirouette and fall was hilarious.
Fielding on the boundary at Dinas Powys - Geoff Male had just bowled his first ball when the scorer shouts, "Bowler's name please!" and one of the opposition batsmen immediately replied with "Max Wall!"
Pursey's pants.
Favourite tour moment? Foxy standing up on a seat in the Brunant Arms with a bar towel wrapped around his head, a set of bongos under one arm, a hunting horn in the other hand, and reciting Welsh poetry interspersed with fake toots of the horn - surreal.
"These are my daughters." - " Ah, so that's why they're so fucking ugly!"
"You're a fucking shit shoveller, aren't you?"
Breakfast on the morning following the death of the Princess Diana. This has to be a record for the highest number of sick jokes ever uttered in such a short space of time - and the culminating moment, Dan's reaction when told Diana was dead.
A pint of Pernod.
"Why do they call him Foxy" - "Dunno, why do they call you twat?"
Puking up over three wheels of Foxy's hire car outside the Brunant arms, then shouting "Don't have the beef" through the window at the old couple who'd gone there for lunch.
"Oi c'n see yer aaaarse"
One afternoon at the Ram Inn, Foxy was handing out free beer chits provided by the pub. A former Casual was railing at him: "How come everybody else gets a free pint voucher, but I only get a half?" - Foxy's reply, "Because you're a c**t !!" - wouldn't be funny if it was Goughy, but coming from the Queen Mother of Casualdom, it was hysterical.
Rob 'Roman' Chase at the BBQ - she'd be about 22 or 23 by now!
Favourite Tea had as a casual? (Home or Away) The biggest! I liked Clytha first time round - kangaroo or ostrich burgers or warthog fillets or whatever - really meaty and deliciously greasy. Well, I wouldn't go there for the cricket.
I like playing for the casuals because………. I can get a game now and again and I love the social aspect. We have a top bunch of blokes and there is always a laugh to be had both on and off the field.
I hate playing for the casuals because………… we meet at Churchills just after breakfast to make sure we arrive at the opposition ground before any of their team has got out of bed, and because we have the words 'Fixture Bureau' written on our fixture sheets.
If I didn’t play so much cricket I’d be………. Umpiring or scoring
Did you know…. John has a love of world travel and has made Spain his second home since he first went there in his youth and has seen many great sights and enjoyed some fantastic times. Unfortunately, Johns worst experience was being on holiday in the hurricane of '91, where the south east of the country was badly hit. However despite this John happily mucked in to help and one newly homeless family from Valencia will be eternally grateful to him as they managed to find some shelter under his enormous stomach for a week.

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